“You Have Been Chosen”

John 15:9-17

Can you remember the very first person you considered to be a friend? I grew up in a neighborhood that had few kids, and none my age. The first friend I remember having was a “roly-poly bug.” You know, the little bugs that roll up when you touch them. I think I ended up being a little rough with my friend, whom I called Norman. I seem to remember having some grave side service toward the end of our second and final day of friendship. I guess I was destined to be a pastor from an early age. My first human friends came about when I attended kindergarten.

I can think of the great friendships that were played out before us on a tv or movie screen: Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz on I Love Lucy; Mary Richards and Rhoda Morgenstern on The Mary Tyler Moore Show; Hawkeye Pierce and B. J. Hunnicut on M*A*S*H; Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon as Thelma and Louise in the movie of the same name, Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption; to name a few. Each of those friendships was different, yet they were all covered by the same word- friend.

My understanding of “Friend” has changed significantly over the years. My first friends after my “roly-poly bug” were ones I could play with, or who had fun toys. As I got older, I developed friendships with guys on my baseball team and some friends at church. As I navigated the emotional rollercoaster that was junior high school, I developed even closer relationships with male and female friends. I shared feelings and secrets with them, bared my soul, that kind of thing. Those relationships depend on high school and college. In seminary, I developed friendships with people who went through a lot with our family. Now, I am fortunate and blessed to have my spouse, Paula, who is my best friend in this life. Looking back on those I call “friends,” I realize the word has a variety of meanings.

This section from the Gospel of John was part of Jesus' farewell to his disciples. It was an evening of great intimacy with those Jesus cared about deeply, the disciples who had walked and worked with him for three years. They went through a lot together. And so Jesus, the master, looked at his servants, and changed the foundation of their relationship: He was no longer the Rabbonai, and they the students. He called them friends. When he used the word, what did he mean? What does friend mean in Greek? “Philos” philos, means “Dear-to love, have affection for.”  The relationship was one of equal footing. Jesus saw the disciples as his friends, no longer as the master teacher over a band of struggling students.

Some friends go beyond friendship. They can reach into our souls and touch us where bone and marrow meet-the ones who know us, who sense what is good for us and give us that, the ones who care about our hurts, failures, losses, and also our joys, our celebrations, our successes. That is the kind of friendship Jesus was speaking of to the disciples.

Now, if the Bible were just a history book, we could leave it at that. Jesus calls the disciples friends, the end. But the Bible is the living, breathing word of God, and it is not frozen by time. The words from this story apply to us as well. Jesus did not just choose the disciples to be his friends. Jesus has chosen us as modern-day disciples to be his friends as well.

Here the rub begins. What does it mean to be a friend of Jesus? We Presbyterians may be a bit leery of a “Personal relationship with Christ.” Just what does that mean? Is Jesus our emotional crutch? How is this relationship defined? Bible Hub.com states the following about a relationship with Jesus:

Definition and Foundational Concepts

A personal relationship with Jesus entails an ongoing, intimate fellowship with Him as both Savior and Messiah. This relationship rests on faith in Christ’s death and resurrection, trust in His promises, and a daily commitment to follow his teachings and know Him more deeply. As stated in John 15:15, “No longer do I call you servants… but I have called you friends,” revealing His desire for closeness with those who believe. Such personal connection implies direct access to God, enabled by the Holy Spirit and undergirded by God’s revealed word in Scripture.

Biblical Basis for Personal Relationship

Throughout the New Testament, believers are portrayed as having a direct and living bond with Christ. Ephesians 3:17 teaches that “Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith,” indicating an indwelling, personal presence rather than a distant association. This connection to Jesus is also likened to a shepherd with His sheep (John 10:14), a vine with its branches (John 15:5), and a head with its body (Colossians 1:18).

This is more than just a theological concept. A relationship with Jesus is possible in the ways scripture reveals to us, as listed above.

To be a friend of Jesus means that we are open to allowing Jesus to dwell with us in the place where bone and marrow meet, in the very depths of our souls. It means that we love Jesus enough to move beyond being a casual acquaintance, a Sunday buddy,  to becoming the one who takes seriously what Jesus teaches. It means wanting and working to live our lives side by side with Jesus, thinking his thoughts and enjoying his presence with us. Jesus has chosen each of us to be in a caring, committed relationship.

What benefit is there of being in a friendship with Jesus? It is essential for spiritual growth and for demonstrating our faith outside those doors. To remind me of my friendship with Christ, I have several images in my office that serve as a daily reminder of our bond. These images remind me I am not alone in my office, and that Jesus is there, in relationship with me. The first, which faces me by the entrance of my office, is a cross with Jesus I bought when I was on a mission trip in Nicaragua, reminding me of Christ’s sacrifice and God’s grace. The second is an icon of Jesus I bought when I was in Russia in 1985 at a small monastery outside of Moscow. This is my global Jesus, who reminds me he is all over the world and wants me to work for peace. The third is an image our daughter, Abigail, made for me while at Ashland High School in her art class- a faceless Jesus, surrounded by his disciples at the Last Supper. This reminds me that I encounter the Risen Christ whenever I preside over the Lord’s Supper. Then there is an image of the baby Jesus on the window looking out from my office.  It is a copy of the stained-glass window in St. Giles' Cathedral in Scotland and reminds me that God came down in human form. The fifth one is my “moral compass,” Jesus, peeking on the upper corner of a door with the words, “I saw that!” All of these images of my friend, Jesus, highlight a particular nuance of our relationship.

So, Jesus wants to be in a friendly relationship with YOU. Are we ready for this? I remember many decades ago, I spent my first summer on staff at Westminster Woods. Toward the end of the summer, a volunteer counselor and I became close friends. As the summer drew to a close, I said goodbye to her with a hug, and I think she kissed me on the cheek. I moved on with my life, getting ready to move back to San Francisco and live in the college dorms at SF State. Although I moved on, apparently, she did not. I often came home to my parents' place in Vallejo, where I worked on weekends as the youth director of the 1st Presbyterian Church. As I arrived with a pile of dirty laundry late one evening, my mom told me that someone from camp had dropped by to see me, told them her name, and that I had just missed her. She left some presents for me, along with a card, and told my parents that she was ready for a committed relationship with me. “WHOA!”  I thought to myself, "Hold on a minute!" I’m not prepared or interested! This is a bit too bold.”  It reminds me a bit of the line here in John. Jesus said, “You did not choose me. I CHOSE YOU.”

Jesus makes an offer to us today that can seem too bold. His offer is not just to have us as casual acquaintances, not like Facebook friends or the friends on our Christmas lists we hear from once a year. Father Brennan Manning speaks of the depth of this kind of friendship. “The heart of Jesus loves us as we are and not as we should be. Jesus loves us beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity. He who loves us and calls us friend, loves us in the morning sun and the evening rain without caution, regret, boundary, limit, or breaking point.”

If we are ready to be Jesus' friend, are we prepared for what comes along with it?

To be friends with Jesus is not an exclusive relationship. We are offered deep intimacy with Jesus, and yet at the same time, we are placed firmly into community, as the gathered body of Christ in church. As we love Jesus, and he loves us, there is no choice but to live by Jesus' imperative to apply his teachings to our daily living. In this morning’s passage, this means to love one another. Loving one another demonstrates our friendship with Jesus, for when we are close to him, we want to follow in his teachings.

Why did Jesus choose us as friends? The passage tells us we have been “planted- not appointed- poor translation- so that we bear fruit (of faith) and that our fruit should abide (that is, continue, and remain). Christ chooses us to be in a relationship so that we demonstrate our faith in what we do and say, that faith continues and remains, and the world sees Jesus’ love and light.

The passage for this morning ends with what seems to be a magical formula. If we have a friendship with Jesus and bear the fruit of faith, whatever we ask God in Jesus’ name will be given to us! What a deal! I’ll take a beach cabin in Bandon, season tickets to all the Buffalo Bills home games, a plane to fly there in, and a third home in Florida so we can visit our grandchildren regularly. In Jesus' name. Thanks, God! Except that is not how it works.

When we are in a friendship relationship with Jesus, our desires, our thoughts, and our needs are affected by his character. Our requests that are truly asked in his name go from selfishness to selflessness. My requests change. “Help me build a home for someone in need through Habitat. Please help me be compassionate. Help me see you in others. Help me say and do things that honor you today. Help me be more like You on the road, Jesus, and less of a jerk. Help me find strength as I travel through the valley of the shadow.” When we ask in Jesus’ name, his character guides our requests, and God grants those things to us. All we need to do is ask.